Every Little thing

I'm still here silly. i'll always be.. (:

Taller than ever

Hello there,

Its a wednesday with no pol science lecture. That makes a free day for me. Yay. 

Haha! I thought of a story/scenario: My thoughts and actions are put up on the suspects stand to be questioned. Questioned by countless numbers of lawyers. Lawyers who don't know me. Lawyers who are quick to judge. They vie for any flaws or loopholes, to pick on and tell the whole court about. Answering to any questions that are hurled at my way. Am amazed at the questions they are asking! I chuckle to myself at the baselessness of their questions. They don't know me yet. I wish they'd knew though, I probably wouldn't have to come up here if so! Well give em some time, I tell myself. They'll know me then.. If they want to..

Various witnesses arrive. Witnesses who give their 2 cents worth, which yet again might have their own personal intentions imbued with what they say. Then again. Some of them speak the truth, yet some others don't. As I seat back in the miniature cell where the suspect sits, I hear them speak. Most witnesses are friends. Not all close ones. Some as baseless as the lawyers from previously. Hearing their testimonies and opinions about me without being able to question is quite painful. Especially from the ones who aren't even close. However through out that phase, my family and close friend in the audience continuously give me affirming glances that instantly comforts my soul. I swear i would just die without it. The ones who really understand wouldn't say a thing. They'd just sit there, and smile.

Suddenly, revelation struck me. I don't need this bullshit. haha. I reached out my hands from the grails and the guard passes me the keys with a nod of acknowledgement. Half way through the trail, I walked out. The Judge didn't say anything, for he knew me better than all others. He created me. As I slammed the two doors for the court down, i walked out with my chin up high, taller than ever. I wake up from everything.

Hah. Now, I know. (:

HAHAH. what a stupid philosophical and cheem story. Can't believe I even wrote that.  so dumb. I haven't written something so narrative like that since sec 4! Urgh. my writing skills still sucks. oh well

Lunch is here! Mom made bacon pasta for me. yummmy! :D

you don't know me yet I am like this to you. Hmmmm?

Fr Fred's sermon today was good. (: 

It was about the two most important commandments of the Bible. To love God and to love thy neighbor. The Gospel gave me much understanding and affirmation about Love! I somehow found an insatiable need to blog right after mass ended. haha. 

I loved the way he described the action of loving. "to love is to be vulnerable. It may seem tough to do so but those who do will be rewarded at the end." He further emphasized about how opening up to love was equally important and hard to do. "it always takes someone to start the ball rolling." haha. He cited that being receptive to loving is usually misunderstood in the process as "the languages of love takes on many forms." He gave the excellent example of parental love which my naggy parents always display for me. (: haha i couldn't stop agreeing with him when he talked about uni students being caught up with their lives spending little time at home and sorta overlooking that the love their parents give. Terribly apt. haha. "Boys and men, no matter how old you grow up to be, in the eyes of your mother you will Always be a mommy's boy." hahahah. I agree. (:

Freaking apt I tell you. haha I feel so comforted at hearing all those words he spoke today, its as if someone out there is affirming me and understanding what i do. (: Thank you for always reaching out to me in ways I'd never expect. Thank you for hearing me all this time in silence to my ungrateful whims. I take much comfort and strength knowing you 3 will be always by my side in whatever i do. Thank you for that. (:

i love...

That future is so compelling. Who doesn't want it to happen the way it does? Pegs fitting perfectly into the holes of the board of life. Everything is the way we want it to be! Life would be "Oh, sooo good." It will come I feel. Never in ways i'd expect it to thats for sure.

But,

the obsession kills it...

happy birthday shan shan (: 

am very glad that you enjoyed every moment of that blindfolded walking around schoolios.. take care cause we've got a journey ahead of us yea! ;)

i love....

Its me cause its you

I'm me, time knows

If I could I would

I will cause I can.

miss you you and you. 

love..

I would never again doubt my ability to love.

I freakin do love. 

Love is a complex and big word. I cannot totally define it but i know roughly how and what love means or feels to me. Sometimes i question why I do, but heck it! If I could love then why would i question the reason i love! It must be something if i could love it this way. Regretting is not an option.

I Love because I am able to and want to do so. 

I Love. and am loving it (:

evening people. 

this is a guest entry; a sinking person has came to lift herself up here.

amidst the stacking pigs and the rotating coloured blocks. 

It feels solemn here, the world stops here. And yet, even when people hurried past me.. it takes mighty strength to feel accompanied. 

Apples fall from trees when they are ripe. 

They fall gently in the silence of the blackened night.

Heartily i want you to eat them.

Having it close.

Finally.

my friend loves, still. 

How many human beings have seen a shooting star before? I only know 2 others besides me who have seen the similar one that i have. Lucky? yes. very blessed. Did i want to see (sawn) a shooting star? nope. I had no expectations to seeing one. Guess it just came by, like all other good things does. It'll come, yes it will.

21 years and 4 days have passed and I can't help but look back. I've been a very lucky bugger in every aspect of life. Everything. Thank you to every single thing that i came across in these 2 decades of my life. good bad love hate irritating pleasing, all of it. Thanks.

Though I may seem like a little boy to most, but i think this week has been the week of my life where I feel that i may have matured. I don't think its cause of the 21 years though. Its just a matter of some mindsets and such. Oh well, who am i to say that i'm matured anyway? hahaha well. I guess thinking that i am is a start. The rest is up to You.

Oh, my life is changing everyday,

In every possible way.
And oh, my dreams, it's never quiet as it seems,
Never quiet as it seems.

I know I've felt like this before, but now I'm feeling it even more,
Because it came from you.
And then I open up and see the person falling here is me,
A different way to be.

I want more impossible to ignore,
Impossible to ignore.
And they'll come true, impossible not to do,
Impossible not to do.

I Love.

:)

Took a walk in a park awhile ago.. Sitting down with my ipod, i began to think..

Everything is so contradictory. Its simple yet its complicated. its nice yet it still sucks. I think i know where to go but i think i'm lost at the same time. I am sure of my actions yet I regret them as hell. Everything is going as i wanted but yet i'm hating it the way it is. What the shit is wrong with me. I have no idea, sometimes. Life is good to me, yet it sucks still in some ways. Is this just the wide prospect of how life is? Or am i just too unappreciative of how good things have came my way? I seriously question sometimes.

ugh. I need to change the songs off my ipod.

haha buddy. you always seem to have it worse than me but you just take it and get back on our feet in a jiffy. I seriously admire and respect you for that and though i never said this, i am proud and glad that i have a best friend like you. Thank you for being one of the blessings in my life. 

bye.

i love

"Count your blessings you arse, stop expecting more. Everything has been nice and smooth, learn to be satisfied you idiot. You've got it better than loads of people clearly, so quit whining bitch and start moving!" I screamed to me.

"Alright man.." I smiled.

hahahahaha

I love.. (:

thats not me. there may be some truth in it but I feel that the words bend my thoughts. Be it being successful or whether i'll be attached, i'm not going to let his words move me any further. I'll take it with a pinch of salt but I still strongly believe that life is a mystery. There ain't no way that is gonna affect the way I live and how I love in life now! Lol. Strong willed huh? Oh well. Looking at the mirror is no where as scary as looking into the window to the outside.

Discover everything in time to come. It sucks to not to be able to be natural. Well I guess its always the case for processes like these. Geez.

still love.

hello (:

yay i went to school to study today! and I completed so much work that could never be done at home hahaha ((:

OH YEAH! its my Sister's birthday today! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEB! :D With the buffet dinner at the riverview hotel today for Sis and tomorrow's japanese restaurant buffet dinner for Hans birthday, I hope i'll get fatter! :D

on the car with Deb and Nick (:

Headed down to Deb's place after dinner. Got a chance to see Jason on the webcam (: glad you're doing great Bro.. oh and guess what! Deb lent me her GUITAR HEROES III!

GOOD BYE CAP 5!!! hahahahahah (:

Life is great great great. wooooo (:

the fire is back. Looking back was all it took haha. geez.

i Love 

good morning. 0529. i am free of this week at last.

Lab tmr would mark the official end to my hell week. Actually i feel that hell week is quite an overstatement to make right now after everything has been done. This week was busy, but everything went smoothly for me. Many bonds were closed up, ideologies were budged and yet again the week makes the picture of life ever more clear. 

I feel happy just knowing which direction i'm heading in for life. Sometimes I think the road ahead doesn't look familiar. Its not like the one i've been expecting to see, but yes i think i can get used to it.. If i have to.. i'll try to.. I will.. and I'll skip and sing as I go on its path (:

man.. 2 hours of sleep before i see the sun. but somehow, i just can't wait to.. (:

I love.. 

Studied in school today.
Laughed at secrets.
Men to men talked.
Affected by nothing again.
Ignored some.
Ran the long way.
Accomplished the impossible.
Got stuck in a ditch.
Climbed walls.
Slapped sense into.
Stood up strong.
Stared at cynicism.
Blogged.