finishing

I just can't get my mind to focus somehow. I've been sitting up on this bed with the lappie in my face for the whole day attempting to study and almost nothing but the word 'fuck this!' is resonating in my head. Haven't been in the best of moods these days but I guess it'll pass. Guess I ain't mature enough to deal with petty problems such as exams and stuff, but yes, my mle paper has seriously screwed my mood up. Its not like the kinda paper where I fared badly cause the paper was hard, its more of the kinda paper where I knew I could've done so much freaking better but I just didnt. I'll be judged by the results nonetheless. Bloody hell. I hate being misjudged. But then again, the actual results ain't out.

Well I just wanted to let that out so that I finally could (maybe) study with a clear mind. The content of the work ain't helping much though. This is the Last time, i'm ever gonna take a history module Ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever. You suck vinny. hahaha.

I'm just looking at things so differently now. Almost everything of my previous perceptions have changed. Is the process always like that? I know that I ain't a cynic but sometimes, as things have turned out, there is no escaping the truth. In every aspect, I detest to this present. I could say stuff like 'I told you so' or 'shit you were right' but well that doesn't matter at all does it? Why couldn't some things just go with the flow without any complications. I guess thats how the road twists and turns. If I could I would hit the restart..

Then again, even if i could, that wouldn't make much of a difference. I told my friend that day, "most of the time, its either you got it or you don't." well I guess this could apply to me as well. No point chasing cars. Well I have said that many times before. Not sure if i have followed. Take a chance, I did.

I wanna catch up with my past.

Didnt they say that life has their ups and downs? and that happiness and sadness comes in a pair? I'm just waiting for the tide to turn